The most important cultural event ever! Key actors profiled

Olympics? What Olympics? SA is playing the All Blacks tomorrow! Read this and get with it! Kwailawai* profiles the key South African actors in this clash of the titans.

Breyton Paulse
Joe Rokokoco's smaller, crapper distant cousin. Small. Crap.

Percy Montgomery
Enjoys sunbeds and gifting Tuqiris easy tries. Simplified his goal kicking in Wales, complicated his hairdo at Maxwell's House of Hair.

Bakkies Botha
Fond of thanking God in interviews for his talent, said talent seemingly entirely constituent of being rather large. A bad-motherfucker.

De Wet Barry
Paragon of boneheadedness. Will target Tuitupou's dodgy rib by tackling his eyebrows. Owes his place in the test team to making Steve Kefu cry a year ago.

Jean de Villers
Very highly rated. By very few.

Victor Matfield
Very Rock 'n Roll. Preferred position is outside centre but is often employed in the lineouts. Enjoys feuding.


Is it a Burger? Is it a plane?  

Schalk Burger
Surname the target of numerous witless posts including the words "ham" and "beef".

Marius Joubert
Nobody.

Joe van Niekerk
Fought his way into the starting lineup by dyeing his hair blonde as South Africa attempt to employ an all Aryan loose trio.
Will last only minutes on Saturday.

Gerrie Britz
Played at lock, broke his nose, cried, replaced AJ Venter at no 7. A good move. For New Zealand.

Eddie Andrews
Enjoys crying during the national anthem, and then crying off the field after 60 minutes. One for the future if he wasn't 27.

Os du Randt
Failed cattle slaughterer who has successfully come back fatter, uglier, balder. Fat, ugly, bald. Likes tackling.

Kwailawai* predicts a Bok win.

Source Planet Rugby Forum